Late Show with David Letterman Season 9
Late Show with David Letterman is an American late-night talk show hosted by David Letterman on CBS. The show debuted on August 30, 1993, and is produced by Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants Incorporated and CBS Television Studios. The show's music director and band-leader of the house band, the CBS Orchestra, is Paul Shaffer. The head writer is Matt Roberts and the announcer is Alan Kalter. Of the major U.S. late-night programs, Late Show ranks second in cumulative average viewers over time and third in number of episodes over time. The show leads other late night shows in ad revenue with $271 million in 2009. In most U.S. markets the show airs at 11:35 p.m. Eastern/Pacific time, but is recorded Monday through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., and Thursdays at 3:30 p.m and 6:00 p.m. The second Thursday episode usually airs on Friday of that week. In 2002, Late Show with David Letterman was ranked No. 7 on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. CBS has a contract with Worldwide Pants to continue the show through 2014; by then, Letterman will surpass Johnny Carson as the longest tenured late-night talk show host.
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Late Show with David Letterman
1993 / TV-PGLate Show with David Letterman is an American late-night talk show hosted by David Letterman on CBS. The show debuted on August 30, 1993, and is produced by Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants Incorporated and CBS Television Studios. The show's music director and band-leader of the house band, the CBS Orchestra, is Paul Shaffer. The head writer is Matt Roberts and the announcer is Alan Kalter. Of the major U.S. late-night programs, Late Show ranks second in cumulative average viewers over time and third in number of episodes over time. The show leads other late night shows in ad revenue with $271 million in 2009. In most U.S. markets the show airs at 11:35 p.m. Eastern/Pacific time, but is recorded Monday through Wednesday at 4:30 p.m., and Thursdays at 3:30 p.m and 6:00 p.m. The second Thursday episode usually airs on Friday of that week. In 2002, Late Show with David Letterman was ranked No. 7 on TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time. CBS has a contract with Worldwide Pants to continue the show through 2014; by then, Letterman will surpass Johnny Carson as the longest tenured late-night talk show host.
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Late Show with David Letterman Season 9 Full Episode Guide
Biff Henderson ends his tour of the US during the "CBS Mailbag" segment (final stop: Mt. Rushmore) as Dave chats with "Dr. Steven Hatfill" (Gerard). Later, Dave welcomes "Jiminy Glick" star Martin Short.
Joe Perry of Aerosmith sits in with the band; Osama congratulates Dave for nine years at CBS; Jake Gyllenhall promotes "Moonlight Mile."
Dave forces Steph/Monty to ask John Travolta, "How can I get in touch with the other Sweathogs?"
Dave announces that tomorrow night Paul will be inducted into the National Black Sports and Entertainment Hall of Fame. Later, Chris Elliott and Dave reminiscense.
"SNL" star Jimmy Fallon promotes the MTV Video Music Awards, which he's hosting.
Biff pushes pins into a map right in front of the famous Hollywood sign in L.A.; Alan and his twin brother Rick appear on "American Idol"; upon hearing of a proposed talk show hosted by Bill Clinton on CBS, Dave shows a promo for NBC's "The Saddam Hussein Show."
Dave shows a timeline of President Bush's vacation, while Al Pacino promotes the movie "Simone."
Sitting in with the band tonight is an unknown winner from the previous night's Teen Choice Awards. Later, Robin Williams plugs "One Hour Photo."
Dave welcomes "Friends" star Matthew Perry, who is promoting a new movie. Meanwhile, a performance by the Aussie rock group The Vines blows the audience (and Dave) away.
Biff's Summer Tour continues as Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band perform "Lonesome Day."
Mike Myers promotes "Austin Powers in Goldmember" and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band performs "The Rising."
Dave reads articles from obscure newspapers in a segment called "Small Town News." Later, Little Richard sings "Good Golly, Miss Molly."
Dave and Rupert play "The Late Show Celebrity X-Ray Challenge." Tonight's celebrity is James Caan.
It's the dog days of summer, which might explain why Biff is sitting on a block of ice. Later, Julia Stiles talks about her hair.
During "CBS Mailbag," Paul exaggarates some of the many great tourist destinations of his hometown in Ontario. Later, Bill Cosby talks about his Congressional Medal of Honor.
During "Know Your Current Events," Dave seems to fixate on attractive women. Later, Weezer plays "Keep Fishin'."
Dave chats with a "bear rehabilitator;" Dana Carvey promotes his movie "Master of Disguise;" the "Charts and Graphs" segment reveals that the contents of Ding Dongs are 50% Dings and 50% Dongs.
Rupert goes golfing; Calvert DeForest turns 81; Kristen Johnston promotes her appearance in Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" in Central Park.
George Clarke flies a kite from a taxi; Haley Joel Osment promotes his movie, "The Country Bears;" Dashboard Confessional performs "Saints and Sailors."
Biff's latest stop on his tour is Washington, DC; Dave chats with "Martha Stewart" (Gerard) and her lawyer made of pine cones during CBS Mailbag; Ted Koppel shows off his impeccable comic timing, then delivers a cape to Paul for his Friday night breakdown.
Just for the hell of it, the annual "Late Show Holiday Quarterback Challenge" is held in the middle of July; Dave quizzes the audience with "Know Your Current Events;" Robert Plant sings "Darkness, Darkness."
Sarah Jessica Parker talks about her unborn child; Alan appears to be on the brink of sanity; Dave stumps the audience with a "Beach Quiz."
Steph/Monty and Dave play another round of "Psychic Sandwich." Later, Dave wrecks havoc during a cooking segment with New York restaurant owner Mario Batali.
Dave admits to being in a disproportionatly good mood during a segment called "Late Show Newsmakers;" the Dave Matthews Band becomes the second band ever to perform on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
Biff's Summer Tour stops at Niagara Falls. Meanwhile, during CBS Mailbag, George Clarke talks about his plans for the Fourth of July; Alan Kalter struts his "mastery" of the French language.
Dave plays "Know Your Current Events" with the audience. Later, Paul Newman talks about auto racing while promoting "Road to Perdition."
Dave talks about a snake in his house; Alan Kalter seduces a CPR dummy during a segment called "What's New for Summer;" Pat and Kenny read a transcript of Oprah's interview with Jennifer Lopez; Robin Williams promotes a movie and a broadway show.
Zeke, the "Rabid Dingo" that bit Dave in June 2000, makes a return appearance on "Stupid Pet Tricks." Later, rubyhorse sings "Sparkle."
Biff goes out in van, annoying people with a bullhorn. Later, Steph/Monty asks "Road to Perdition" star Tom Hanks, "During the filming, did the crew see or touch any monkeys?"
The "Late Show CBS Mailbag Biff Henderson Map Across America Summer Tour" lands at the Statue of Liberty. Later, Ben Kweller performs "Wasted and Ready."
The audience is victorious once more when they play "Stump the Band." Later, Dave shows a very obnoxious commerical for the upcoming G-8 Summit.
Dave reads from random wedding announcements in the New York Times in a segment called "Will It Last?"
Dave makes several enlightening remarks about the National Hollerin' Champions from North Carolina, who later perform their winning hollers; Adam Sandler plugs Mr. Deeds.
Will Smith promotes "Men In Black 2," while the US Men's World Cup Soccer Team holds an exhibition on the roof of the theater.
Biff and Bruce Willis push pins in Hawaii during CBS Mailbag, while Dave lands on the cover of "Martha Stewart Living."
The U.S. National Team presents "Top Ten Ways to Get Americans Excited About Soccer;" Dave brags about buying his first car at Harrison Ford; The Trail of Dead performs "Relative Ways."
The bird callers of Piedmont High School demonstrate their wares once more; Moby sings "We Are Made of Stars."
George Clarke stands on the roof of the Studio 54 building to hit golf balls, hoping to go over the Ed Sullivan Theater and break glass on the WPI building on its far side. After successfully breaking one window, Steph/Monty, Alan, and Al Franken each take a few swings at the windows.
Dave takes inventory of all his favorite clips (the "wild dingo," the baby owl eating the mouse, Dubya looking confused, etc.); Tom Cruise shows off his braces; during a segment called "Don't Try This At Home," Mike McIntee sprays Windex into his mouth.
Biff does his pushpin schtick live from the Grand Canyon, and Dave persuades him to yell "Hey, Mommy!" just to see if there's an echo. Also, Paul does a somewhat convincing James Brown impression, suffers a nervous breakdown onstage, and Dave comes by to bring him his cape.
Dave and Paul talk about their cholesterol levels; Freddie Prinze, Jr. promotes Scooby-Doo; Alicia Keys sings "How Come You Don't Call Me?"
Sarah Michelle Geller promotes Scooby-Doo while John McEnroe tells Dave a funny story about getting thrown out of the Australian Open back in his playing days.
Dave comments on the Nets' playoff run; Alan performs another scene from Double Indemnity, this time with a Edward G. Robinson stand-in; David Bowie performs "Slow Burn."
Mailbag: "Is This Anything?" fave Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl stands next to Biff while he puts the pushpins in the map; twelth floor receptionist Art Garfunkel provides his own on-hold music; Alan beats the crap out of an Amish guy, then when Dave explains that the Amish are pacifists, Alan heads back to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, accuses the Amish guy of being brainwashed by Dave, and beats him up again.
An audience member explains to Dave how to pronounce the name of her hometown: "You're saying Morristown. It's not Morristown. It's Morristown." Also, Dave chats with Abi Thomas, a jogger who was attacked by a bear at Yellowstone National Park.
Dave and Paul try to figure out a strange gesture that Celine Dion made during her TV concert earlier that week. Later, Chris Rock talks about Don King and Bucky Dent.
Dave accuses Rupert of product placement on "May We See Your Photos, Please"; Alan addresses the Queen of England in a rather inappropriate way; Celine Dion performs "I'm Alive" and jumps into the audience.
While showing photos from her trip to the Indianapolis 500, Dave calls Steph/Monty "Dutch"; the snake lady performs again on "Is This Anything?"; Tom Dreesen tells various tales of Hollywood hobnobbing.
Dave announces that Paul will be called Pablo this summer, which will go into effect immediately; Dave promises tonight's show will be "smooth and suave"; during Mailbag, an audience member asks Dave what his most embarrassing moment was, and we watch a (phony) clip of Dave performing with The Firecrackers last week.
Alan asks passerby for their reaction to the new Star Wars prequel and ends up making a scene. Also, Anton Fig and Ivan Neville perform "Inside Out" from the CBS Orchestra drummer's new album, Figments.
Trumpter Terence Blanchard sits in; in honor of David Blaine's recent stunt in which he stands on a eighty-foot platform for several days, George Clarke attempts to stand on a folding chair for the duration of the show; Dave chats with April Kleinschmidt, the sole graduate of the Class of 2002 at Harrold High School in South Dakota.
Dave shows real footage of a woman being questioned on the news wearing a Late Show t-shirt; Diane Sawyer brags about her recent weight loss; Dave chats with Australian teen Jesse Martin, the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo.
Steph/Monty is mentioned in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly; Dave calls New York Highway Superintendent Drew Outhouse to resolve an awkward social situation; The Kalter Twins perform "I've Got You Babe"; The Firecrackers, a synchronized jump rope team, demonstrate their wares on-stage.
Mailbag: Martha Stewart fills in for Biff on the pushpin board, Harold Larkin goes hitchhiking, and Tony is humiliated on Blind Date. Also, Brian Regan comments on his inability to spell names correctly.
Dave shows footage from rehearsal of Kenny McGowan tripping over the "Will It Float" tank; Biff visits the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indy 500 time trials; a participant in tonight's "Stupid Human Tricks" that can maneuver a tennis racquet all over his body flirts with Natalie Portman in the green room.
Tony Mendez goes home with an audience member (see recap), while Dave and rocker/sportsman Ted Nugent cook rabbit.
Nine guys in Spider-Man outfits, not to mention Dracula, Superman, and a cowboy cram themselves into a Subway restaurant; Tony Orlando dresses down Dave even though he interrupted him, then leaps into a chorus of "Knock Three Times"; when one of Lee Marek's kid scientists starts a very flammable demonstration, Dave demands that the band and everyone else onstage take for cover behind his desk.
Dave chats with the latest Survivor loser Robert "The General" DeCanio, while Liza Minnelli performs "Some People" from the musical Gypsy.
With Biff on vacation, Steph/Monty handles the pushpins live via telephone; during Mailbag, Paul demonstrates a hidden talent for cartwheels, and then mysteriously disappears; a Mother's Day tradition is started when the moms of ten celebrities present the Top Ten list; Dave and Gillian Anderson make out.
Skateboarding great Tony Hawk demonstrates his wares out on 53rd Street.
Dave and Paul take apart wedding announcements in the New York Times; a staffer in a Spider-Man outfit successfully hails a taxi; Will Ferrell tells Dave what it's like to run the NYC marathon.
Dave moans and groans over his latest dental work; Dave shows (obviously phony) footage of Peter Jennings doing World News Tonight in a Spider-Man costume; Richard Gere makes first appearance on the show since 1983.
The outside cam catches Spider-Man jacking a car; Dave and Mary Tyler Moore play catch; Norah Jones performs "Don't Know Why."
Mailbag: a letter about having your name mentioned on TV is somehow morphed into a request to see Alan getting the crap beat out of him. Later on in the segment, a letter about tornados has the same result, as an already bloodied Alan is further laid to waste. Also, Michael McIntee does a remote Top Ten from Central Park, while Jim Gaffigan discusses food and cleanliness.
"Biff Henderson's America" visits the hamlet of Denver, Indiana; Dave comments on rumors that Bill Clinton may host a daytime talk show; Tobey Maguire does a really bad Rodney Dangerfield impression.
An "Incredible Cat Challenge" is thwarted when George Clarke's cat won't go through the obstacle course; Kirsten Dunst promotes Spider-Man; after Angie Stone and the O'Jays perform "Wish I Didn't Miss You," the house band closes the show by performing "Love Train."
The Incredible Dog Challenge is finally held out on 53rd Street, and throughout the night three dogs compete through a series of hurdles and tubes.
Dave shows various clips of Ted Danson looked scared/shocked from his recent miniseries Living With the Dead; Dave points out that the Late Show was chosen as the seventh greatest television program of all time; Paul Westerberg performs "Silent Film Star."
Dave and Paul talk about wrestling in preparation of his interview with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. During CBS Mailbag, "Mayor Bloomberg" (Gerard) offers Dave some pot, and Alan Kalter promotes the video "Osama Gone Wild."
Another "Incredible Dog Challenge" is postponed by rain; Dave wears his ugly red glasses again; Cee-Lo sings "Closet Freak."
Dave mentions Paul's appearance on tonight's episode of Ed, and shortly afterwards Paul wears the fake mustache he had to wear for the role; Alan and the Barbara Stanwyck look-alike perform another scene from Double Indemnity; Bonnie Raitt sings "I Can't Help You Now."
Dave mentions that Saddam Hussein's novel Zabibah and the King was been turned into a musical, and then shows a (bogus) promo for it's upcoming debut in Baghdad; seven-year-old billiards trick shot artist Landon Shuffett blows Dave away by shooting a row of thirteen balls into the corner pocket; Elvis Costello performs "Tear Off Your Own Head (It's A Doll Revolution)."
Dave mentions that he bumped his head over the weekend, then comments on the recent drought in NYC.
Dave receives an unexpected birthday greeting from Osama Bin Laden; CBS Mailbag is interrupted to that the Hi-Ho girls can bring out Daddy's cake; ten Air Force pilots present the Top Ten.
Dave receives another comedy class project from Miss Markey's Kindergarten class, while The Strokes perform "Take It or Leave It."
After his reluctance to sing on last night's show, Dave is appalled to find US Attorney General John Ashcroft crooning "When The Eagles Soars" on TRL; Alan impersonates Fred MacMurray again; Sheryl Crow sings "Soak Up The Sun."
Dave models a hideous pair of glasses he found in his house; a woman from Portland, Oregon rides around in Al Norwood's 2001 Honda S2000; Dave tries to get Attorney General John Ashcroft to sing, but only does so during the commercial breaks.
In honor of his departure from The Early Show; Dave shows footage of moving men with cardboard boxes superimposed over Bryant Gumbel talking in mid-broadcast; "Survivor: Marquesas" also-ran Gina Crews demonstrates her talent for spitting watermelon seeds; George Miller brags that his grandfather invented the handshake.
Will Lee stands in for Biff on pin duty, and for his troubles he receives the tradition gift of Samsonite® luggage; during Mailbag, two "girl scouts" (Harold Larkin and Mike McIntee) destroy Paul's office for being behind on his cookie payments; ten members of the Coast Guard present the Top Ten.
Biff introduces footage from his latest trip to Yankees Spring Training in Florida, while a fully-packed suitcase is subjected to "Will It Float?"
After Dave notices that Alan bears a slight resemblance to Fred MacMurray, the announcer and a Barbara Stanwyck stand-in recreate a scene from Double Indemnity. Also, Patti Smith sings "Dancing Barefoot."
During the latest Celebrity X-Ray Challenge, Dave persuades Rupert to lip sync a song from Oklahoma!
Acid jazz legend Herbie Hancock sits in on keyboards; Dave orders Steph/Monty to buy French fries; Marv Albert shows off another one of his blooper reels.
Mailbag: Tony's apparent sexiness forces George Clarke to drown his sorrows in a bucket of chicken at KFC; Dave shows off a tattoo on his leg that he wishes he didn't have (the ABC logo); after learning that Alan makes more money than him, Tony meets George at KFC.
Biff shows footage of him harassing New Yorkers with a bullhorn; the New York National Guard presents the Top Ten; Sevendust (featuring Paul) performs "Angel's Son."
Eric Burdon of The Animals sits in; during the "Odd Catalogs" segment, Dave displays an ad for a "Government-seized and repossessed hairpiece blowout"; the Hi-Ho girls deliver a birthday cake to Tony; Doris Kearns Goodwin addresses rumors of plagiarism.
Dave shows a (bogus) clip of the upcoming Baby Bob spin-off "Baby Jacques," which is just like the original show except everybody speaks in a French accent; a proud tradition continues as a Hello Deli customer goes on a Easter meatball hunt; Alan apologizes for his comments toward Gwyneth Paltrow on last night's show, then inadvertently insults Uma Thurman.
Alan reports on what everybody was wearing at last night's Oscars (all the men wore tuxedos), while Adam Arkin promotes the critically-disdained sitcom Baby Bob.
Dave and Paul discuss the vernal equinox and the old wives tale that you're supposed to be able to stand an egg on its end at the moment of the equinox; Dave mentions that "Will It Float" is quickly becoming a fan favorite, then correctly predicts that a half-gallon of strawberry ice cream will float; N.E.R.D. performs "Rock Star."
Dave asks Paul to play some Gene Pitney; the "Late Show Psychic Test Drive" finds Rupert driving Deborah Lynn around the city in a 2001 Chevy Malibu; Dave chats with boy genius Kit Armstrong.
Dave mentions that Paul has been keeping himself busy, as he performed not only at this year's Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, but also at the much-ballyhooed Liza Minelli-David Gest wedding; Dave continues to gloat over his Aftonbladet award, which he nonchalantly drinks from Stanley Cup-style; The White Stripes perform "Fell In Love With a Girl."
In honor of his recent nomination, Paul and the gang participate in a Grammy-themed edition of "Stump the Band;" during "Stupid Human Tricks," a fourteen-year-old girl performs "Feliz Navidad" with her nose; Cher sings "Song for the Lonely."
Stephanie makes her first report from Salt Lake City, in which she shows Dave a photo of her watching the opening ceremonies on TV; Dave can't stop staring at Janet Jackson's revealing outfit; Enrique Iglesias sings "Escape."
Disgraced Enron CEO "Kenneth Lay" sits in with the band, and is later seen shredding songsheets.
What's "New for the Office" in 2002? The items Dave introduces include a Jack Daniels water cooler and a color printer that makes flapjacks. Also, throughout the night, various people walk onstage and gripe about Dave in French, Turkish, Russian and Japanese.
Out of the blue, Dave compliments the New York State Police, but Paul smells a rat. Dave claims he wasn't pulled over again. Meanwhile, Bruce Willis plays "drums" with his head and 7-year-old child actor Cody Arens plugs Riding in Cars with Boys.
Alan gives dating tips; Joshua Jackson promotes the upcoming season premiere of "Dawson's Creek;" Emo Philips does a stand-up routine on Dave's show for the first time since 1989.
Paul composes a song about people that look like Burt Reynolds; Owen Wilson plugs Zoolander.
During "What's the Deal With Old Guys and Enormous Glasses?" Dave wears a 70's-era pair of specs; John Cusack promotes Serendipity.
Dave welcomes national hero Rudy Guiliani to the show for the first time since the WTC disaster.
In the first show following the terrorist destruction of the World Trade Center, Dave welcomes CBS anchorman Dan Rather and Regis Philbin.
Mayor Guiliani interrupts Dave's monologue; Sarah Jessica Parker promotes "Sex & the City."
Dave points out that Tony Mendez is mentioned in this week's "Talk of the Town" column in The New Yorker. Later, Jude Brennan makes her last appearance as the bitchy "Mrs. Letterman."
Dave announces that instead of "whatever," from now on he will be saying "wherever"; during a segment called "While We Were Out," the male staff members commemorate a minor design change on the stage by sitting in Dave's chair buck naked; Will Ferrell makes a threating message in song to Barbra Streisand.